I sit and write amidst a sleeping rat and the
clanking of a fan to combat the stuffy heat of a Central California summer. It
is only 1:15 and I have only been up for the past twenty one hours. The day
started in the much cooler presence of a Ventura sunrise on my way to work in
the emergency room. Nine hours on my feet and seventeen patients miraculously
healed. Well... nobody died. I scarfed inhaled a two-day-old
enchilada from a dollar store Tupperware in the ER break room and rejoined
Franklin (the rat) in the cozy canopy of my Ford Focus, Fiona. (It may seem I
have a fetish for "F" words and names. I don't...really.) Where is
all this going, you say? Girl + Rat + Car + 3.5 Chips Ahoy cookies =
Unforeseeable success and an epic blog post.
There was no hesitation in my pre-programmed route
to get gas, merge onto the 126 Freeway and trek the 192.7 miles to Visalia, CA.
I accelerated to a swift 85 mph drove patiently across the
rolling hills and up the Grapevine never piecing my day into its respective
parts. One thing rushed to the next. Am I the only one who does this? I've got
$2.67 and a piece of Licorice on the bet that I am not alone.
It wasn't until I was nearly to the Valley
floor that I took a breath and swallowed a big gulp of air. Conveniently
located on either side of the freeway is a "Runaway Truck Ramp." You
know, the things that look like giant, slanted litter boxes? They function as
an emergency exit for vehicles whose brakes have failed and are subsequently
plummeting down the mountain. Once the vehicle veers into its trap, it sinks
into feet of gravel and comes to a safe stop. I have seen these particular
ramps hundreds of times, but today was different.
Instantly, the little man in my mind (quite
possibly just my psyche described in an awkward fashion) clawed to get out and
bury himself in the gravel. My mind just needed desperately to stop, breathe,
be stationary. Please, put me up to my neck in a pile of rocks so I cannot take
one more shift or study one more flashcard. Then I don't need to drive another
mile or send another text message. Why don't we have "Runaway Mind
Ramps?"
Perhaps we compensate and create a similar
phenomenon with things such as Pinterest or a Margarita. This is not at attempt
at social critique or reformation by any means. I am just calling attention to
the fact that I desperately need to slow down and linger in the day's moments.
After all a lot happened today...
Gay marriage was legalized and my little
brother's baseball team won their All-Star game 15-0. Not news typically
combined into one sentence? Welcome to my life. A paradox, oxymoron, strangely
intertwined. Each little piece of the day vastly different but leading me to
the same feeling– a desire to pray.
- I
want to pray thanksgiving for the news that one of our patients survived
his heart attack despite a 99% blockage of his left anterior descending
artery, cleverly called "The Widow Maker." He'll miss a few days
of golf but in exchange for many more days with his wife.
- I
want to pray for the guy all alone on the side of the freeway with a flat
tire or the man selling tamales from the trunk of his car in the Walmart
parking lot. Please God, let them have a family at home who loves him and
will lessen the blow of a crappy day or crappy economy.
- I
want to pray (retroactively of course) that the San Francisco Giants
weren't swept by the Los Angeles Dodgers, pray that Lincecum's ERA wasn't
4.64. But hey, instead I can pray thanks for a wonderful baseball game
played by some ten-year-old boys on a Wednesday night. They rocked it.
-
Right after that I'm going to get on my knees and pray for the kids
that lost. 15-0 is a tough loss. I've been there and it sucks. These are
the prayers for perseverance and molding of sportsmanship. I earnestly
hope their parents still take them to pizza after the game and high five
them for that great catch they made in the 3rd inning.
-
Then, what the heck, let's pray for parents in general. Straight parents,
gay parents, and parents that want to be so badly and can't be. I don't
care if the kid has two dads and it's a problem in my eyes (not that it
is). I am still going to pray wholeheartedly for that family and the
little person they love. God give parents guidance and support from the
family and community. It's a big job to do.
- Are you
ready to pray for marriage? I am. Whether the marriage is accepted by a
democratic regime or a conservative society, it is a delicate gift that
sure as hell could use some reinforcement from my dear friend prayer. Give
pray for open hearts, forgiveness, grace. Add another helping of love and
then some wisdom. Top it off with health and longevity both for the
physical body and the mind.
-
Something heavy on my heart tonight is the prayer for the Church.
May its members find peace somewhere other than the Senate or their 401k.
In the coming days there is going to be so much hate fired from both sides
of hot topics, words spoken that weren't thought out and spewed out of
anger. Ease the rifts in many churches. Personally, I pray for both a
broken church, the one that raised me, and the blossoming church I now
call my home. I pray God that you raise leaders that reside firm in the
Word and make known that you dwell in every church, calling them to abide
faithfully.
- I
pray for health, Haiti, and hope. I give thanks for sunshine, sunflower
seeds, and sheets fresh from the dryer in my childhood bedroom.
Reflecting on my words again reveals the
scattered, busy nature of my brain. But somehow the pieces come closer
together, united in Purpose. When I need that plunge into solitude or out of my
mind, I find a step back and to the left (not the political left people,
metaphorically speaking) gives me a better perspective of both the gifts before
me and the needs that stand unfulfilled. Smell a flower, silence your phone and
listen to the laugh of a child, hug your neighbor that just lost his wife.
Taking action to better our world does not constitute a picket sign or a lot of
money. Do what you gotta do I guess, but as for me, I'm just gonna pray it's
all okay as sleep now ushers in to carry me to another day full of promise.
