Disclaimer: This blog gets a little mushy.
I am insecure. No one likes to admit her insecurities and we all overcompensate for the self-confidence we lack. So I am coming right out and saying that being surrounded by beautiful, smart women takes its toll on me. Some days my clothes aren't cute enough or I'm not tall enough. My hips are too wide, my brown eyes are boring, my hair will never hold a curl... If you take enough time, another flaw always arises.
When it came time to pray about Lent this year, I didn't want to do the same old junk food type thing (ok, so what if it is because I love junk!) I guess if I were really motivated I would forego obsessing over cats and pretending to be pregnant. Let's be realistic! Instead, I thought about the areas that I put a great deal of my time into. School is busy and sleep is rare, but how can I complain about how little time I have when I still set aside nearly an hour every day to pick an outfit, do my hair, and compose my face?
This blog isn't to come out and say "Ooo look at me, I'm going without for lent!" Yes, I do love looking cute and feeling put together, but I have put such a large part of my self-worth in what changes I can make to my appearance every day. How can I mask every unique characteristic God has placed on my body? I can only hope that 40 days is long enough a period that I can reflect on the Creation I am. I wholeheartedly hope that it changes more that just what I see in the mirror. If you're a human, you have likely judged another on appearance. Sadly, I do it more often than I'd care to admit. Perhaps the scales of society's standards will be lifted from my eyes. I want to be able to see clearly the beauty each of us displays naturally.
So here are my rules:
- Outfits come from a single drawer of t-shirts and jeans. There will be no pre-planned outfits.
*Sundays will be an exception for church.
- No makeup. Concealer? Nope. Blush? Nada. Mascara? Not even.
- The hair is all natural. No product, straightening, or curling. The simple braid is acceptable.
- Jewelry is a no-no. *The nose piercing remains because it will close, and I paid $50. Sorry Mom.
- When this current nail polish wears off, it's a done deal.
- To respond to the concern of my best friends and roommates, I will indeed be showering.
Forty days. Bring on the prayer and connection that will hopefully reveal some insight on why I was created the way I am. I am ready for a change of heart. Anyone that reads this and can identify with the feelings of inadequacy, I pray that you see your full potential, not through your own eyes, but God's. Come back to check in on how it's going with me, because you can be sure there will be hard days. I'll keep y'all posted.
~"But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”~ 1 Samuel 16:7
PS- I am obviously serious about this endeavor as I refrained from joking about praying for those who will encounter me in the mornings and so on.
Side notes on my pathetic science-major life- As I typed "jeans" in my head, it came out "genes" on paper... sad day!
I am insecure. No one likes to admit her insecurities and we all overcompensate for the self-confidence we lack. So I am coming right out and saying that being surrounded by beautiful, smart women takes its toll on me. Some days my clothes aren't cute enough or I'm not tall enough. My hips are too wide, my brown eyes are boring, my hair will never hold a curl... If you take enough time, another flaw always arises.
When it came time to pray about Lent this year, I didn't want to do the same old junk food type thing (ok, so what if it is because I love junk!) I guess if I were really motivated I would forego obsessing over cats and pretending to be pregnant. Let's be realistic! Instead, I thought about the areas that I put a great deal of my time into. School is busy and sleep is rare, but how can I complain about how little time I have when I still set aside nearly an hour every day to pick an outfit, do my hair, and compose my face?
This blog isn't to come out and say "Ooo look at me, I'm going without for lent!" Yes, I do love looking cute and feeling put together, but I have put such a large part of my self-worth in what changes I can make to my appearance every day. How can I mask every unique characteristic God has placed on my body? I can only hope that 40 days is long enough a period that I can reflect on the Creation I am. I wholeheartedly hope that it changes more that just what I see in the mirror. If you're a human, you have likely judged another on appearance. Sadly, I do it more often than I'd care to admit. Perhaps the scales of society's standards will be lifted from my eyes. I want to be able to see clearly the beauty each of us displays naturally.
So here are my rules:
- Outfits come from a single drawer of t-shirts and jeans. There will be no pre-planned outfits.
*Sundays will be an exception for church.
- No makeup. Concealer? Nope. Blush? Nada. Mascara? Not even.
- The hair is all natural. No product, straightening, or curling. The simple braid is acceptable.
- Jewelry is a no-no. *The nose piercing remains because it will close, and I paid $50. Sorry Mom.
- When this current nail polish wears off, it's a done deal.
- To respond to the concern of my best friends and roommates, I will indeed be showering.
Forty days. Bring on the prayer and connection that will hopefully reveal some insight on why I was created the way I am. I am ready for a change of heart. Anyone that reads this and can identify with the feelings of inadequacy, I pray that you see your full potential, not through your own eyes, but God's. Come back to check in on how it's going with me, because you can be sure there will be hard days. I'll keep y'all posted.
~"And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." ~1 Peter 3:3-5
PS- I am obviously serious about this endeavor as I refrained from joking about praying for those who will encounter me in the mornings and so on.
Side notes on my pathetic science-major life- As I typed "jeans" in my head, it came out "genes" on paper... sad day!
hi you're awesome. Chip also says you're awesome. she really likes what you are doing. Goodnight.
ReplyDeleteGet it girl. Life without makeup is fantastic - after almost 20 years worth, I can gladly say I enjoy the extra sleep in time in the morning. And if we weren't on a semi-dress code here, I'd be decked out in my t's and jeans all day erry day. Praying for you!
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